6DEGREES OF DAYS LIKE THIS | Culture & Customs “In Sight of the Unfamiliar” by Marguerite Munoz

“One’s destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things.” ~ Henry Miller

Often times the most memorable travel experiences are those in which you veer from the beaten path, break away from the tourist attractions, and steep yourself in the culture and customs of a foreign locale. Still, it’s not easy to shed the comfort of our insular skin, relinquish  the “I speak American” attitude, and adapt to a new way of life.

Take for example, the first faux pas I committed recently while visiting my boyfriend’s family in France over the holidays. During a meal hosted by my boyfriend’s aunt, who lives in a picturesque house in the countryside, I cut some pâté on my plate and began spreading it (with gusto) on some toasted bread with a knife. Anxious to taste this new delicacy, I was mid-bite when I heard a little gasp escape boyfriend’s cousin, seated beside me. By the expression on his face, you would have thought that I had kicked the dog under the table (during my visit I found most French stereotypes to be unfounded, with the exception that the French really do adore their dogs). Once my confusion and embarrassment subsided, I learned that spreading pâté compromises the taste– I was to simply cut a portion, place it on the bread, and eat it whole. Orienting oneself in a new environment with its own sets of customs can be tricky, but your trip in a foreign land sooner becomes a foreigner’s “day in the life” with six noteworthy points of reference to consider before your departure:

1. Greetings : There is more than one way to ‘Bonjour’ and ‘Au revoir,’ but knowing the basics and being mindful of subtleties is a matter of respect. For example, even if you’re not fluent in French, a simple “Bonjour Monsieur/ Madame” can make all the difference. If you address new acquaintances further, just brush up on your ‘tu’ versus ‘vous.’
2. Gestures: Respect boundaries. You might want to skip the bear hug and opt for the more traditional kiss on the cheek. No need to panic about how many kisses to give- although in some circumstances it can total up to four- people usually greet each other with two kisses, one on each cheek.
3. Meals: Eating in France is an art in itself, not to be rushed, but rather savored like slow-melting chocolate. A typical dinner might consist of up to six courses: Aperitif, L’entrèe (starter), Le plat principal (main course), Le fromage (cheese), Le dessert, fruit, and espresso.
4. Etiquette: Once your hostess says ‘Bon appetit’ you may realize that you’re not holding your eating utensils like your neighbors. In the U.S., I was accustomed to switching hands when eating–after cutting with my knife held in one hand and fork in the other, I put the knife down and finally ate with the fork in my right hand. In France the knife stays in the right hand, fork in the left. Try it and you will discover a much more efficient way of eating! Upon my return home, I’ve adopted this practice- eating without turning my fork right side up has become my new “right” way.
5. Invitations: Being invited into someone’s home and being treated to a home-cooked meal is an honor; you can show your appreciation by making small gestures that go a long way, like bringing flowers as a hostess gift. But remember that you were invited to enjoy the food, wine, and conversation, and that after the meal there are neither dish-washing congregations in the kitchen nor ‘I’ll wash, you dry’ exchanges. Dishes are washed after everyone leaves or left until the next morning-which brings us to the last but not least…
6. ‘Vivre dans l’instant present’ : Live in the moment, regardless of your travel destination. In France I practiced the art of eating
   and found luxury in everyday rituals. Simply being in a new village, city, or country is a gift in itself. So don’t forget to take the time to sit and absorb the smells, sights, and sounds as you admire the details of a sidewalk scene, stroll through a garden or local market, or relish in the simple pleasure of freshly baked bread.

My french boyfriend was my personal guide as I navigated through the nuanced customs and traditions of France, and the experience was invaluable. There are many resources available so that you too can turn your next tourist travel experience into a profound journey of cultural immersion.